Waiting being paid off

yuppy yup!!! he's back already... yes it been half a day already... now then i tpye entry abt it... wel who cares.. i'm out to fren's hse jus now... n yesterday nite, i got put an entry but i jus deleted it...

@ 1.25pm, i kol his hp... n glad to hear his voice on the next line... finally that he's back... no more worry on him not in singapore... no more worry for not going to meet him.. or worst not getting to hear his voice anymore... i felt so comfortable wen hearing his voice... seems like all the worries is being push away jus like that.. urgh!! really miss his siliness n laughter... really can't wait to meet him in person... wonder how i'm going to react wen i see him... hmmm...

Strange Of Me

y i'm feeling so worried... y am i feeling so afraid... y am i feeling so unconstant...

i noe i'm supposed to be excited upon receiving any news from him... overjoy upon hearing his voice... but yet i didnt... previous days he kol thru my fren phone... its supposed to be a surprised but i got that feeling already... n moment i heard his voice, i was excited... jus couldnt believe he kol... but second after that, i jus keep quiet... sampai kene sound... haiz... dunno la eh... i keep on asking myself y... y like this siak... nape sri? nape?.... at nite i told my fren, abt wat i been thinking or felt... she said maybe bcoz i've been waiting for him too long.. been hoping too much... wel.. kind of true... but aiyoh dunno la...

been many times i felt this way... everytime i'm angry coz he didnt want to meet... den wen he want to meet up, i'll be the one perangai... even su once scold me... strange rite...

n now he'll be back in 3 days time.. n i'm here missing him... wanting him to be back soon... can't wait to see him... but yet, back of my head, i'm been thinking the possibilities... is things going to change? will he have different personality like he usually do moment he's back from holidays? am i going to be here feeling happy? if its going to change, is it going to be bad or good?... so where can i find the answer to all this question plus the leftover one in my head...

Outing with KIDS + Surprise

my kakak sedare asked me out... planning to go to expo coz there's metro sale... but unfortunately, we didnt managed to... instead we went to united sq... watched SPIDERMAN show... hehehe... it was fun.. i laughed thruout the show... jus couldnt believe that i'm watching this thingy.. den walked ard the place.. plannign with the rest on where to next...

my abg sedare leave everything to me... n yah like as if i noe everything abt singapore rite!!! asking me where's the nice place la... where's the ducktour ticket counter la... where to go next la... aiyoh like as if i'm the one who never been to all the places in singapore.. haiz...

after th SPIDERMAN show, we proceed to east coast.. yah jus to have our dinner there... at that indonasia restaurant... damn!! i forgot the name... over there, i was being bullied by my abg sedare... he still thought that i'm the girl who keep on eating when everyone is done with it.. i'm the one who finished up all the dishes... in fact i still did la... but not worst than before... eh previously, i can asked for another dishes eventhough i'm full.. so called- i'm the tong sampah... hehehe... while resting for the food to digest... i still couldnt decide on having the alvocado juice or not... end up no... coz i'm to full.. n nwae my abg sedare is the one paying for all this.. hei!! this is not a special occasion...

carrying ard with my neice... eventhough i'm with high heel... damn!! i had much fun... isk!! can't stand looking at the bikinis there... nice n cheap.. haiz... if only i have enouf money with me... instead of buying bikini, i jus bought an anklet... cheapo one will do.. .jus couldnt get enouf of anklet...

next we proceed down to esplande... jus one place thats happening... coz there's WICKEDAURA BATUCADA... the brazilian band... alah the one who won in performing for the opening in Black Eyed Peas Concert... they were great... superb... tremendeous... once u watch it, u wouldnt want to move... jus want to stay n listen... n jus a coincidence, one of the member was farking cute... n yah i took pictures of him... curi2 amik la... way back i was holding hand with my 1 year old niece... jus couldnt realise that my frens was at the back... i only realise wen i saw Saiful... den Ronny n girl... den Nurdin... they asked who's child is it... i jus say it was mine.. n they believe it.. hmmm.. how stupid can they be... yah la me having kid walking with my couzins all...siao ah!!! tak dapat siul!!

inside the car, i was too tired that i almost sleep... yah adding more, listening to semtimental songs... wah while singing along, memories come back... with both of them... the recent only being flashback wen we drive pass the tanjong pagar area.. yah how much i miss him... but nevermind... cant help much...

the surprise part... jus wondering wat occasion is it today that almost all my aunties n uncles come to my house... yah totally one hell of an feast... the food served was wow... spagetti... sup tulang merah... bubur kacang... durian... damn!!! full siak... i managed to eat the sup tulang.. coz thats wat i've been craving for all this while... den yah start again with the nursery session in the rooms... where all those toddles being accompanied by their mothers... n my aunty entertain them with nursery rhymes... ehheheh...

n now i'm totally tired.. finally got to smoke... but still can't sleep.... haiz... oh yah.. i seriously miss him... cant wait for him to come back.. jus hope he's fine there...

Kiasu

hehehe... i've book the NDP tickets via internet... haiyoh!! the application only starts today... n me already apply 3 times... yah me, my mum n my dad... all diff number...so jus wish for luck...

Nothing Much

wel today was a ok.. a day without him... hmmm... fine!!! i've added a countdown counter... hehehe.. crazy rite.. but nvm.. jus can't wait for the day he come back home...

kind of boring actually... jus went to queensway to repair discman... den back to home... n now i jus dunno wat to do... so i jus log in to any of the account that is mine n his... like msn... friendster... hotmail.. wats so ever la... boring la... so if any of u come across his nick showing that he's online.. its actually not him... its me... but it u forget that he's gone for oversea, den by all means jus chat with me... heheheh...

fine as days goes by, feeling lonely... i jus crushing on a guy... a guy i noe from a.m den in msn... haiz.. his face jus remind me of my x, fadly... miss him..never been talking or keeping in touch since the day we broke up... but nvm... jus attracte to looks.. cute.. boyish look la...

haiz... really miss nas!! n thx god, the time flow very fast... so i dun feel the tense... so let us countdown together...

Worried till he's gone...

haiz... yesterdy was my emotional nite... i cried non-stop... havin him singing goodbye songs... hearing his voice... i jus couldnt stop crying... eyes swollen... running nose... body so weak.. hearts reluctant.. a sleepless nite...

keep on waking up every now n then... dunno y... the first time i woke up was 4.30am... damn!!! wat was i thinking siak... den at 7, i woke up again.. den 8.30... den 9... keep on thinkingwhether to send him or not... kol him... den talked all the way... till he's out from his house... lucky he gave me a kiss... if not, i'll keep on worry about him... keep on thinking abt him... hmmm..

he kol me again... den talked... saying everyone was there.. wen he's abt to board the bus to airport, he jus asked me to talked to his sis... n yah wat am i supposed to say.. we r both blanked... she jus asked me y i never send her bro off... partly shy.. partly wanting to go.. n one more thing if i go also, i'll be going there alone... me no phone then how to contact them asking where they are... he also say no need... he say he will be coming back... thats wat he's been saying to me since last nite.. maybe jus to comfort me...

my mum even said my face look so stress... ya la.. of course i will.. he's out for 2 week.. n 2 week is farking long u noe... i myself can't survive without talking to him for 1 day... whats more having him off 2 week... one week never meet also i already keep on pastering him to meet me the next day.. keep on reminding him when to meet... now, 2 weeks.... aiyoh can die ah...

now, he should be inside the airport... already passed thru the check point... at 1pm, boarding on SQ 426, Singapore Airlines, he's off to his destination...GOODBYE DEAR!! MISS YA!!! MUACKS!!

he'll be back on 14 Jun... approx ard 8.35am... from flight no SQ 425, Singapore Airlines... hmmm.. i'll keep on waiting for that day to come...

Surprise!!!

I didnt even noe that i have a friendster account till he told me yesterday... i didnt even remember wen i sign it up.. coz all i noe i only sign up My Space... n its already a year + i'm in it... urgh!!! couldnt believe it till now...

yup i do have the tot of opening up one account.. but wan it to be with different mail add... unexpectedly, one account is already in using sri_08@hotmail.com... aiyoh...

Lost!!!

*sob* listening to this song make me cry even more... the lyrics is so meaningfull for me... HE'S MY HOME... my shelter...

thx to him, he consoled me... saying not to cry... but still can't help it... tears jus rolled down my cheeks... lucky he's still here... if not, i'll gues i'm going to be farking lost... yah now i'm missing him already... really do!!!

aiyah... dunno la eh... jus true enouf that we can't do anything if my parent is still like that... so i'll do it my way then... no point doing it unwillingly... rite!!

Is it wrong?

I dun understand y ppl still dun want to put things into their head that i love him.. only him... ppl are making fun out of it... ppl r insulting my way of loving him... i feel insulted... offended... everything...

my parent especially... they still haven get over the past yet... n i'm sad by that... past is past... let bygone be bygone... whats the point of being angry with him... he's not like before... i've seen him change... i'm the one who sees everything in him... what u guys been seeing is jus the bad deed that he have done... the good deed all u jus trashed them aside... dun even wished to noe... it really hurt me to noe the fact that they r treating cold towards him... n everything abt him is jus wrong... he's like a dirty old shit in my life rite... or should i say my parents life...

y cant they forgive n forget that incident... not that i treat it lightly la... but whats the point hating sumone that ur daughter love so much... sumone whom she wish to live with... someone whom she's happy with... someone whom she would die for... someone who she's willing to sacrifice anything even her family... call me crazy but i'm not... saying that i'm blinded by love, i'm not... i'm still normal...

k fine i put his pic all ard my room.. but is it wrong... i love him... really into him... get it!!! so wat if father is still angry with him... so wat if mother pretend to accept him... so wat the big fuss if i get back with him... i dun see any wrong... i've already planned everything... even all side plan.. so hit it!!!

i'm stubborn.. i wont listen to wat ever ppl going to say... i still going to do it me way...