The One Who Got Away...
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people.
Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who
will always mean something. There's the one you first
kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your
virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one
you're with...and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person
with who everything was great, everything was perfect,
but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in
the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but
the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone,
finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie
merely in the other person. I can actually argue that
an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to
do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you
being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a
way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy
romance.
How often have you gone through it without even
realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that
mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it
just doesn't work. Small problems become big;
inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because
you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and
the person you're with are no good; it's just that
it's not yet right, and little things become the
flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when
this happens you'll be ready to settle down with
someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they
might not be the brightest star of romance to ever
have burned in your life, but it'll work because
you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time
and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it
really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of
things, and you find yourself to be a different
person. Things are different, your approach is
different, you finally understand who you are and what
you want, and you've become ready because the time has
truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when
this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you
could be in a long-term relationship, you could be
married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you
know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the
one that got away, is the first person you think
about.
You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What
if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we
were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"
That's what the one that got away is. The biggest
"What if?" you'll have in your life.
If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact
that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no
matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this
can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're
mature enough to realize that you're already with the
one you're with and this is just another test of your
commitment, one which will just strengthen your
marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think
about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's
never nice to live with a "might have been," but it
happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already
married. In which case it's the same thing. You just
have to accept and know that your memories of that
person will probably bring a nice little smile to your
lips in the future when you're old and gray and
reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's
different. What do you do if it's not yet too late?
Simple...find him, find her. Because the very
existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll
always wonder, what if you got that one?
Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it
doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of
nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the
one that got away" as well for the person who is your
"the one that got away."
You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't
make a difference. If the timing is finally right,
it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know,
I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end,
to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one
that almost got away."
